Why I'll AlwaysBe CAMPUS at HEART.

MAKES SENSE?

"Lately," I've learned that not everything God asks us to do makes sense. Because what what makes sense can be understood by our minds. We can draw a  rational explanation why it happened or why it should be done. But since God said,  

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, 

 neither are your ways my ways," 

 declares the LORD." Isaiah 55:8 (NIV)

He is God. We are only humans. We question why and God seldom answers. Just as an animal can't comprehend much of the ways of man, sometimes, God works in ways we cannot fully grasp. Such times, the person who professes the faith can only rely on blind obedience; moreover, do the hard and painful way of waiting. 

FAITH-FULL?

November of last year was the last time I did a self-awareness activity with a group. Nursing students learned from Psychiatric Nursing the importance of doing a self check before working with clients who have mental illnesses.  On our part, we did an activity that opened ourselves to the group to write about each member’s two personal facets: the negative and the positive traits.

Last August, I spent almost a month in the province, and I had plenty of time there to think things through in my life.

The copies of what we wrote on that particular activity were not given back to us. But one thing I remembered sharply was me, being described as “faithful” by most of my group mates.

Then our Clinical Instructor asked, “Faithful to whom?” I pointed upwards as a response. To validate what I meant, he asked, “Are you born again?” pertaining to what he thought was my religion. He was right on saying I was born again-- though I don’t actually consider it as a religion. But to avoid further explanations, I just nodded.

Faithful. I rehearsed that thought over and over, drawing the fact that I just did an acknowledgment that I really am faithful to my God.

But to be honest with myself, and to anyone who might have been reading this. I am not.

My response when I pointed upwards might have been right if the question was “Faithful? Who?”

My faith is not all the time FULL. I doubt most of the time.

“Doubt always co exists with faith, for in the presence of certainty, who would need faith at all?”

-Philip Yancey, Reaching for the invisible God

I struggle a roller-coaster of faith every day. So it’s not a surprise when I frequently pray what the apostles exclaimed, “Lord, increase my faith!” [Luke 17:5].

And if "Everything is possible for him who believes." [Mark 9:23] comes to mind, I utter “I do believe! Help me overcome my unbelief!” [Mark 9:24] once again.

God may not appear as faithful at times, but at the end of the “day” He will not lose the battle of faithfulness. Sometimes, we allow ourselves lose faith in Him before He starts proving His faithfulness on us.

I often tell God, “Your promises are always sure as you say, but my faith is not. So help me not to lose faith, because if I do, I will lose everything else—including all the good promises you have for me.”

“...I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” [Matthew 17:20]

Yes, even as small as this:

BAD DAY

Sometimes, God allows chaos in our lives.Our plans mess up. Our times wasted. Our energy spent seemed to be useless. Such times tempt us to look back and regret everything we did and wonder about the things we should have done.

But as always, we can't worry forever about the things we can't already change.

Anyone who thinks he/she did a mistake can, "...forget what is behind, and strain  toward what is ahead..." [Philippians 3:13] Anyone who feels he/she missed God's best, "...from there, He can gather us and bring us back..." [Deutoronomy 30:4] to where we should be.

One of my favorite lines in Joyce Meyer's Never Give Up is, "...if you miss  God somehow, don't worry, He'll find YOU..." One of the best things about being a believer of the Living God as I am is we can always choose to hope... Hope that God can use even our most terrible mistakes, "..ultimately to serve His purpose.." "...God can turn it around and use it for your advantage..." AGAIN.

One of my most-said prayer lately is that God would give me the courage to face the unknown ahead, and not to allow fear to stop me even just to try. And among all the noises in my head, all the options, alternatives, plan A's and B's, God would help me "Be still.." [Psalm 46:10] and help me listen to my heart, as it echo what is in His heart.

*italicized words from Bible (NIV), 

Never Give Up (Joyce Meyer),

Reaching for the Invisible God (Philip Yancey),

Joel Osteen (Become a Better You)

CRAWLING

"If you can't fly, run. If you can't run, walk. If you can't walk, crawl, but by all means KEEP MOVING." -Martin Luther King Jr.

Bad things come and go. They sap your strength. From intense enthusiasm, it can push you into your lowest low. It's the reality. This world is unfair. Humans are rude. So your effortless flying can become a desperate crawling, anytime. Most of the time, it comes in times when you least expect it. But you just can't afford staying in what's worst-- because no matter how bleak it may seem, by faith, there are always better things ahead. It's paniful to let go. It takes a pruned pride to forgive, it takes time to heal a broken soul, it requires an effort to be happy-- but it's for the best that you have to move on.