PICTUCARD

SHOULD I CARE?

Sometimes, my relationship with God doesn't make sense to me anymore. But should I really care? I realized that I should value God, more than the relationship I have with Him. Just as I should value a friend, more than the friendship. 

RARE

Clear, vivid moments with God happen rarely. Rare means it happens once in a while. Though it is seldom, it still happens. So if it does not happen to me now, should I still hope that one day, it will? Since such moments are called RARE, not NEVER. 

LOVE IS FREE

No one has the power to cause someone he loves to love him back. Well, God has. He is all-powerful as He says, but He chose not to use it. Love is something you cannot ask for. It's something you cannot beg for. It is freely given by someone who truly loves. And it hurts when you realize that the one you've chosen to freely give your love, is also free not to love you back.

Love is free; but you cannot have it all the time-- not the way you want, at least. 

ON THE WRITER SIDE

Writing was my first love. When I was a kid, I used to pick up books, read some stories I like inside, then I’ll try to make my own story. Kids are best in imitating things, and in my case, writing caught my interest.  My outputs back then were horrible! Haha. (that's from my present point of view; it was heaven back then) They were grammatically incorrect.  The themes were corny. And when I read them now, they look trash.

I used to have journals—or for "childish" version, diaries. When you get older and more mature, it’s sooo much fun to read stuffs from your childhood. Through time, you also learn from what you wrote. You learn how you used to be and how you've become. Unfortunately, all of my diaries from elementary to high school, including the poems I wrote, weren’t saved. Some were destroyed by the typhoons, some I just put into fire for deeper reasons, and some were submitted to school and I had no personal copies.

I’m a writer at heart.  I’m a letter writer, journal writer, poem writer—at mood, a blogger and was a news writer. In fact, the best days I had in grade school were the contests I joined in journalism. It’s almost 8 years since I learned the basics of news writing, but I could still remember them up to now. And the toxic life of being part of the school paper is something unforgettable from high school.

Maybe, that’s how it is. Your passion will always be your passion.  You don't care if you're not the best in it, but you do everything to become better with it.  Moreover, my Pen and Paper are one of the best listeners I ever had. 

"Why WRITE? Because we can. Because we’re forever finding ways to express ourselves in the brief amount of time we have to live. Because we might be mute someday. Write because you have a message. Write because you want something to block everything out and just read what you have to say. Because you want to say something and you don’t want others to judge you by your appearance, your accent, or stench, but by your message. Because you don’t want to keep repeating a command..because the dog next door might interrupt your speech again."

 -Lorenzo Marfil, Manila Waldorf School

(Philippine Star, August 24, 2010)

“Anyone can write. It’s not like a superhero ability that is only endowed to those ‘worthy.’ We all have ideas and opinions and there is always someone who wants to hear them. Do not be afraid to write because there’s nothing to be ashamed of. People have their opinions but what’s more important is that you did something beautiful. “

“Writing is everlasting. It makes you immortal. We have books from thousands of years back and these authors have become household names. Writing can also change the world. You can educate people through writing and make a difference in this world we live in. A writer can be the savior of our society.”

-Samantha Mae Coyiuto

(Philippine Star, Sunday Life, September 26, 2010)

“I love to write though it is such a nerve-wracking process. Whoever said that writing is easy should be used as a human keyboard by Gorillas with Ipads. Writing means pouring self on paper, exposing one’s thoughts to readers who have judgements of their own to make. But when the writing gets good — Oh, when the words snuggle together like newborn puppies — it feels so good to stare at a page suddenly alive with a heartbeat that only the writer hears.”

-Susan Ople

(Panorama Magazine, July 16, 2010)

BREATHING AND LETTING GO

"You can be as mad as a mad dog at the way things went. You could swear, curse the fates, but when it comes to the end, you have to let go."

-The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

At one point in your life, you have to let go. Whether it would be a person, a problem, a dream, or even a desire-- somehow, somewhere, you have to let it go. 

Letting go, for me, does not mean giving up. It comes from a heart, brave enough to admit that the thing he/she holds on to, needs to breathe and fly. 

Holding on too much can hurt-- to the object being held and to the person who holds. 

I've hold on to a lot of things thinking I should have it here-- now or never. But little did I know, it was making me too uptight and tensed, that I forgot to take a breather and relax for awhile. 

Four months. It has been almost four months since I took the nursing board exam. If the road to board exam was looong and rough, life after it was loooooonger, rougher and rockier. It was a time of thinking things through about my life. In fact, I thought too much, making my life miserable.

There so many things I want to do, so many things I long to have, so much more than doing Nursing. But it seems like everything I wanted are out of way-- as of now. Problems in money, career and spiritual dryness creep in, making everything more difficult to handle. Moreover, my idleness lead me to a boredom overdose. And I almost lost my appetite to life.

So here I am, I quit. I'm letting go. If this life seems to be "tough," I guess I just have to be "tougher." The universe is screaming at me to relax and face life. I'm letting go... It's time to pull my hands off and allow God do His work fully. I'll walk into life carrying this hope in me that somewhere along the way, I may find again the things I have freed, when the time is right. 

LIKE

courtesy of Coke

    "Not everything that I am shows on the surface. It's mostly kept inside.But I'd like to think that the greatest parts of me, the most truthful parts of me, come out in the songs that I write.And often times when I'm writing music, there's a blurry line between what happened and what I hope had happened.But the bottom line is it's all real.It's all my truth. And the story, well it's up to you to decide what really happened and what was just my imaginations."

-Marie Digby Breathing Underwater (Episode 1-Home)

TRAPPED

"The road is under construction. And there is no shortcut."

-Papa told me maybe a week ago

"Do you ever find yourself saying something like this? 'Lord, I give you my life, but I'm weary to death of this irritation, this person, this circumstance, this uncomfortable situation. I feel trapped, Lord. I want relief-- I must have relief! And if You don't bring it soon....well, I've had it. I feel like walking away from it all.'

You may walk, my friend, but there are no shortcuts. Here's a better plan: Reach for the hand of your Guide! He is Lord of the desert. Even your desert. The most precious object of God's love is His child in the desert. If it were possible, you mean more to Him during this time than at any other time... You are His beloved student taking His toughest courses. He loves you with an infinite amount of love."

-Wisdom for the Way, Charles Swindoll

MAKES SENSE?

"Lately," I've learned that not everything God asks us to do makes sense. Because what what makes sense can be understood by our minds. We can draw a  rational explanation why it happened or why it should be done. But since God said,  

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, 

 neither are your ways my ways," 

 declares the LORD." Isaiah 55:8 (NIV)

He is God. We are only humans. We question why and God seldom answers. Just as an animal can't comprehend much of the ways of man, sometimes, God works in ways we cannot fully grasp. Such times, the person who professes the faith can only rely on blind obedience; moreover, do the hard and painful way of waiting.