IRONIES

It's not new to hear that life is full of ironies. Personally, I've bumped into several ideas that are quite contradicting but seem to go hand in hand. I just thought that it is ironic, but it is true.

I've learned that...

If I need courage to fight, I need more courage to surrender.

If I need the zeal to move, I need more zeal to be still.

If I need wisdom to speak, I need more wisdom to listen.

If I need a big heart to be strong, I need a bigger heart to admit that I'm weak.

If it's painful to know that you've been lied to, sometimes it's more painful to know the truth.

If I need the will to live, I need more will to die.

If I need strength to hold on, I need more strength to let go.

Maybe, the most unforgettable irony; yet the most painful for me is that I have to go through God's absence in my life, in order to enjoy more of His presence. Well, God has never been absent. In fact, He's always present. But one doesn't always have the pivilege to feel it, right?

It went for days, weeks, then months, and years. It seems like Someone's familiar touch has withdrawn from me til it left me feel lonely and abandoned. I've been through tough times of sleeping at night and waking up in the morning without the warmth of His presence in my heart, anymore. I've been through series of questioning Him "Why?" and the need to know what's wrong also consumed me. It seems like Someone had run away and I was left behind. Like a game of hide and seek, He is nowhere to be found. But then, all those questions left unanswered until I realized that I'm left with the opportunity to submit myself to God's sovereignty: that He is free to reveal or conceal Himself; until I learn that times like these should come, for without these circumstances that allow doubt, how would my faith grow stronger? How would my soul rise to a higher level? I should be thankful to be given a favor to develop a faith in which God puts premium- a faith that strives even in His hiddenness.

Knowing Him gives me hope that one day, He'll surprise with a presence closer than I could ever have expected.

Well, ironies like these should not surprise us that much from a God who has been ironic from the beginning. A God who uses the weak to lead the strong, who choses fools to shame the wise. A God who has been Savior in a manger. A God who turned a a murderer into a preacher,a shepherd into a king, and who even made the universe out of nothing! :)